Oh, geez, what a sneeze!

Students and teachers a-choose to share their sneeze stories


Mr. Nathan Kirschmann shows his love for sneezing

   Everyone does it, whether it is with a passionate force or silently, it’s “snot” uncommon to sneeze. It is our bodies’ natural response to foreign particles entering the nasal cavity. Similar to the sneeze-causing particles, every person’s sneeze is unique. 

   Take Mr. Nathan Kirschmann, Pre-Calculus and AP Calculus teacher. He has a loud, attention-demanding sneeze. It draws concern from his family and the people around him.

   “My children usually ask if I’m okay [after I sneeze] out of sincere concern,” said Mr. Kirschmann. “Their reaction to my sneezes sometimes can be ‘how can someone that’s okay possibly sneeze like that?’” 

   Mr. Kirschmann’s sneeze may be forceful and startling, but he claims that it is not as forceful as his mother’s sneeze. 

   “My mom’s got a pretty insane sneeze, she sounds like she’s getting stabbed, and you just wait for the resolution at the end, and that’s how you know she’s okay,” said Mr. Kirschmann. “I don’t sound like I’m getting stabbed, I’m just loud.”

   Jalesa Hannah, a sophomore, has a similar blood-curdling sneeze.

   “They can be pretty distracting until you get used to them,” said Hannah. “I scream.”

   However, not all sneezes are created equal. While Mr. Kirschmann and Hannah have sneezes that strike fear into the hearts of their friends, and enemies, junior Rashad Hoel’s sneezes have quite the opposite effect.

   “They are quiet,” said Hoel. “I sneeze like a mouse.”

  Hoel’s sneezes have not always been so quiet and adorable. He has learned to adapt them over time. 

   “When I was in elementary school, I used to sneeze really loud,” said Hoel. “They said I ‘sneezed too loud’ and were making fun of me. Then, I went to a quiet sneeze, and I still get made fun of!”

   Hannah, on the other hand, has not adapted her sneeze because of peer pressure. However, she has found that with masks, sneezing becomes a peeving task. 

    “I always sneeze a lot because I have bad allergies anyway, so the mask doesn’t help,” said Hannah.

  While Hoel attempts to avoid the teasing, he also avoids messy sneezing. Similar to Hannah, Hoel has found that sneezing has become a more bothersome task.

   “I have to step out of the classroom to sneeze, to pull my mask down,” said Hoel. “My sneezes are wet, and then my mask gets wet.”

Rashad Hoel steps out of the classroom to sneeze

   As a child, Mr. Kirschmann got into similar sticky situations. 

   “I would imagine when I was a really little kid there was plenty of times where I free-range fired snot all over the place,” said Mr. Kirschmann. 

   Don’t unease about your sneeze. As gross as they may be, sneezes are an important, normal bodily function. While some people find it best to suppress their sneezes, because they find them unpleasant, gross, or distracting, Mr. Kirschmann does not share that sentiment.

“Say sneeze!” Reem Haddad sneezes for the camera

   “There is a catharsis for that sneeze that won’t come, when it finally comes, that is very refreshing,” said Mr. Kirschmann. “I don’t think I’ve ever tried to suppress a sneeze, I love sneezing.”