Episode 4 – The Watermelon


   Ladies and gentlemen, this is an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that I was not at all impressed with. Like season nine episode twenty-two of Seinfeld, named “The Puerto Rican Day,” season eleven episode four of Curb Your Enthusiasm titled “The Watermelon” is an awful episode in an otherwise flawless series. 

   The episode starts with Larry David, and his manager Jeff Greene, at Jeff’s house. The two start to think of some actors for Young Larry. They both think Woody Harrelson  would be a good choice. Larry agrees to have Woody over to have a chat with him about Young Larry. While Larry is over at Jeff’s house, Susie Greene, Jeff’s wife, asks Larry to take their rabbi out golfing as a favor. Larry reluctantly agrees to do this. Susie tells him that she owes him a favor.

   The rabbi, named Rabbi Friedman, makes a bet with Larry the next day when they are out golfing. Larry says that he doesn’t go to temple all that often. Rabbi Friedman says that if he makes a specific shot, that seemed impossible, Larry would have to go to temple. Larry takes the bet, and Rabbi Friedman makes the shot.

   The next day, Woody comes over to Larry’s house to talk about Young Larry. While they are talking, Larry offers Woody some coffee. Woody accepts the coffee, but when Larry offers him creamer for his coffee, he interrogates Larry. Woody is an animal rights activist, so he questioned Larry about where he got his creamer. Larry, who doesn’t want to lose Woody, tells him that he owns a farm and he has a cow on that farm that he gets the milk from. Woody asks him if he can see the cow. Larry can’t seem to come up with an excuse, so he says that he can come to see the cow later in the week. 

   Later on in the day, Larry goes to see an eye doctor to get a new prescription. He goes to see Heidi, who is Freddy Funkhouser’s girlfriend. Freddy is one of Larry’s best friends. Heidi and Larry have a quick conversation about a rally that was happening later in the day, and how disgusting it was. After this, Larry takes an extremely long amount of time to decide what his prescription is. After picking a prescription, Larry gets his pupils dilated, which causes him to see with a temporary blur. Heidi walks out of the room while eating a bag of popcorn. She accidentally drops a piece of popcorn on the ground, looks at it, and then walks out. This scene ends with Larry becoming appalled.

   Now, right after this, this is where the episode slowly started to make me feel very uncomfortable. Larry walks in the streets of Los Angeles, CA, in the middle of a Ku Klux Klan rally. Larry accidentally bumps into a Klansman named Joe. Joe is carrying coffee and Larry, because his vision is blurred, doesn’t see him, and when he bumps into Joe, he causes the coffee to stain the Klan robe that Joe was carrying. Joe gets angry at Larry for doing this, and expects Larry to get it cleaned. Larry takes the robe and tells him that he will return it cleaned.

   Later in the day, Larry takes the robe to a dry cleaner. The dry cleaner happens to be Jewish. When he sees the robe he, and for good reason, refuses Larry’s business. Larry tells him, “The Klansman wasn’t that bad of a Klansman.” This is the moment that made me sick to my stomach. Hearing that come out of Larry’s mouth made me sick and I wanted to vomit. It made me so disgusted hearing that from him, and I was so angry with him. To get back on track, the dry cleaner did eventually agree to take it and he said they would let him know when it was ready. 

   Because he is a man of his word, Larry goes to temple the next day. While he is there he tells Freddy about how Heidi dropped a piece of popcorn on the floor, and how she looked at it and just ignored it and didn’t pick it up. Freddy was irritated to hear about this. After the service, Rabbi Friedman thanks Larry for coming and he gives him a shofar as a gift. A shofar is a musical horn used by Jewish people for religious purposes.

   Larry goes back to the dry cleaners the next day and the dry cleaner said that they lost the robe. Larry questions him about it and he said that he did just lose it and it was a mistake. Larry heads over to Joe’s house and tells him the situation. Larry says that he will be able to get him a new robe in time for his rally in Phoenix, AZ, later on in the week. Joe says that he will be okay with that. Larry also notices that he lives on a farm and that he has a cow. He asks Joe if he can bring Woody to his farm that Thursday, and Joe agrees.

   Later in the day, Larry heads to Susie’s house. Susie happens to be a sewing master, and Larry knows this. He asks Susie to sew him a Klan robe for Joe. Susie becomes shocked and angry at Larry for even thinking that she would agree to do it. Larry guilts her into doing it, and she does agree to it eventually. 

   When the robe is ready, Larry brings it to Joe on his farm, along with Woody. He delivers the robe to Joe, and Joe, Woody, and Larry tour the farm. Woody says that he is impressed with Larry’s farm. Just as Woody is leaving, he throws a grape on the ground. Both Joe and Larry argue with Woody and tell him that he can’t throw a grape on someone’s farm. This causes Woody to quit Young Larry. 

   The next shot shows Freddy and Heidi at lunch together. Heidi asks Freddy why he has seemed uneasy during their lunch. He told her that Larry told him about how she didn’t pick up the piece of popcorn. Heidi tells him that she didn’t see it, but he tells her that Larry witnessed her look at the piece of popcorn and didn’t do anything about it. Heidi became so angry that she stormed out of the restaurant and went to her office, where she knew Larry would be because he had another appointment. She goes in and takes the phoropter, which is what determines someone’s eye prescription, and shoves it in Larry’s face, causing him to get two black eyes. 

   The next day, Joe goes to his Klan rally in Phoenix, AZ. He puts the robe on, but what he doesn’t know is that Susie put the Star of David on the back of his robe. Because of this, Joe gets beaten up by the other members of the Ku Klux Klan at that rally.

   Later that night, Joe goes to Larry’s house to confront him. He bangs on his door, and this causes Larry to awake from his sleep. Joe keeps knocking on the door screaming anti-semitic slurs about Larry. Larry goes on to his balcony and looks at Joe. He blows the shofar that Rabbi Friedman gave him. The sound causes the entire neighborhood to wake up and turn on their lights, and Joe leaves.

   That is where the episode ended. I’m still not quite sure what to think about this episode even though it aired on November 14, 2021. It took me a while to write this review because I still don’t know what to think after watching this. Just something about Larry saying “Joe isn’t that bad of a Klansman” left a really weird and wrong taste in my mouth, and this episode left me feeling queasy.

   People seem to enjoy this episode. It is the highest-ranking of all the other episodes on IMDb with an 8.8/10. I, however, think that this is the worst episode of the season, and the worst episode of the series.